Choosing Joy

I'm tired.  She's tired.   We are both frustrated.  We were up a lot last night.  She's either cutting another tooth or she's coming down with a cold.  The weekend has been long and hard.  I just want to go to bed and wake up refreshed, I'm ready to start a new week.  She's not having it tonight.  I've been trying to calm her down and get her to sleep since 9 It's now 1:30.  We've tried homeopathic teething stuff, over the counter medicine, three diaper changes, a massage, a warm bath, offered lots of nursie, offered snuggles from mama and daddy, lotion on her feet, changed pajamas...  We've tried everything to comfort her, She's still crying.

I don't really know what else to try.  I throw back the covers and hop out of bed. I can either lay there and hope she stops crying, or get up and try one last thing.  I decide to grab one of our favorite wraps and I toss her over my shoulder.  Her happy place.  She instantly calms down, snuggles her face into my back and giggles a little.  Oh, my sweet love.  How can I even be impatient with you ?

I sneak out to the kitchen, preheat the oven, and turn on some quiet lullabies.  Gently swaying my hips back and forth with the music.  It reminds me of the cold February night almost a year ago when I labored all night, preparing for an early morning delivery.  Tonight, we are getting an early start on tomorrow's to-do list.  Cupcakes for a friend's blessingway.  At about this same time last year, it was my blessingway, preparing to welcome this little lady into the world.  Time has gone so fast.

I'm choosing joy tonight. I'd rather be sleeping, preparing for another day of mothering these tiny girls...but instead I get to make a memory.  Someday, I'll giggle with her and tell her about the time when she wouldn't go to sleep for hours and hours, and I finally tossed her on my back and we made cupcakes together.  The silliest part will be how she finally fell asleep, about 10 minutes into the cupcake making and snored her way through the rest of "our" baking project...